While I was watching Max Erenst`s work, I got drowsy and fell asleep at a bench of Yokohama Museum of Art.
Wherever I go, and whatever I see, I suddenly become sleepy.
Someone said on TV, "old men get sleepy easily."
I think it was Ninagawa Yukio.
It got me a bit. I remember it whenever something happens.
…Old women do, too.
"Lot's of people come when cherry blossom."
I heard my friend said when we were walking.
On the right was the entrance of Chidorigafuchi National Cemetery.
…Oh, this is where it is.
I placed a chrysanthemum flower in front of the ceramic coffin enshrined
in the hexagonal hall at the front of the plaza and put my hands together
in prayer.
I saw neither the God nor the Buddha, so it was very clear for me who to pray to.
It felt concise and refreshing to me.
On the map of Japan whose shape looks like a seahorse,
the number of the war dead was shown in each region with a red line around
it.
There were 518,000 Japanese soldiers killed in the Philippines alone.
My father didn't talk about his experence during the war, not even to my
mother.
So, I can only imagine that he had experience which couldn't be described with words.
"My father once went to the south ."
"I think my father did, too."
If two young men hadn't been back, my friend and I wouldn't have been here.
That means our lives don't exist from the beginning.
Of course our worries and memories also don't either.
Later, my mother told me when I was one or two,
there was sake and a cup on the table, and she told my father there weren't
any side dishes with it, he said that's all he wanted as long as I was
here with him.
There is no middle ground between what is there and what is not there.
There is always something we can't share.
I've been thinking about these things.
For example,
between those who sleep in the ceramic coffin and those who survive on
the ground.
I put down a book on the train and tried to ponder on the premise that
the difference between what is and what is not is zero.
But, as usual I fell asleep before I found an answer.
The image of time and space is in a haze.
When I came back from a trip,
I found two bitter melons seeds I picked last year had sprouted.
At the same time everyone looked up at the sky because of annular solar
eclipse and the Sky Tree.
When I imagine a picture of those people, I feel that would be pretty funny.
Maybe it is a way to distract us from complicated issues on the ground and to raise the momentum.
If it is the "picture" someone drew, I'm very impressed.
But, at that time, I was only looking down.
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